Best ‘Walk Up’ Music

You know you’ve made it as a professional baseball player when you’re allowed to choose the music you come to bat or pitch with. Sometimes the choices in music are superb…other times, these selections make us want to hang ourselves in the parking lot…

The 13ths have complied a list of some of the best and worst selections thus far:

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Troy Tulowitzki – Colorado Rockies

Party in The USA – Miley Cyrus / Gimme More - Brittany Spears

Hitting .315/27/95 in 2010, Colorado Rockies starting shortstop, Troy Tulowitzki, is the best bat in the team’s lineup. Some may argue that the 2010 NL Batting Title recipient, Carlos González, deserves this honor as the outfielder hit .336/34/117 last year, but there’s one thing separating the two players…

…their walk up music.

Tulowitzki obviously has a sense of humor as indicated by his badass, Kenny Powers inspired Mullet, but it doesn’t end there. The shortstop has come to the plate to both Miley Cyrus’s Party in the USA and Britney Spear’s Gimme More.

Now, not all players could pull this off. Take for example Blue Jays 2nd baseman, Aaron Hill.

Hill went from hitting .286 in 2009 to hitting .205, just one year later. If during this slump Hill had decided to come out to the Hannah Montana theme song, well, it probably wouldn’t go over so well with the fans.

So if you’re going to come out to Miley Cyrus or Brittany Spears, you better have the bat and/or mullet to back it up.

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Chase Utley – Philadelphia Phillies

Kashmir – Led Zeppelin / We Like To Party – Vengaboys / One of These Days – Pink Floyd

Let’s face it, you probably wish you were Chase Utley. And let’s face it again, that wish will probably never come true.

Chase Utley’s career walk up music has been a pretty solid combination of both humor and legitimate rock n’ roll.

On the humor side of things, the 2nd baseman has come to the plate while playing We Like to Party by the Vengaboys. You may recognize this song from Six Flag commercials but you may not know that after Utley chose this song as his entrance music, all roller coasters at Six Flags became instantaneously more fun and simultaneously better looking. (See Below)

^ I have no idea what this is…

On the other side of things, Utley has walked  to the plate while listening to Kashmir by Led Zeppelin and One of These Days by Pink Floyd, so the dude obviously has a decent taste in music.

With so many awful music picks by baseball players these days i.e. Creed, Nickleback and Crazy Town (yes, fucking Crazy Town…) it’s nice to see a Phillie, leading the charge in the right direction.

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Ichiro Suzuki – Seattle Mariners

Super Mario Brother Theme – Nintendo

In ten years with the Mariners, Ichiro Suzuki has never hit under .300 nor has the outfielder ever posted less than 200 hits in a season. That kind of consistency is hard to come by in the MLB, but those figures pale in comparison to Suzuki’s choice in walk up music…

The Super Mario Brothers Theme

Bear with me here…imagine for a second that you’re a Mariner’s fan. You’re in Seattle and you’re at a ballgame. It’s raining out, you can’t get Smells Like Team Spirit out of your head and you just found out Ken Griffey Jr. retired.

Life can’t get much worse…

…but then…out of nowhere, Ichiro Suzuki comes to bat and that blissful 8-bit sound starts to fill the stadium.

Before you know it, you’re taking mushrooms and riding dinosaurs; fuck yes.

You’re responding to plumbing emergencies, throwing bombs with faces, collecting coins larger than your head and exploring haunted castles. You say to yourself “holy fucking balls, this is awesome…”

Finally, you save the princess and move out of Seattle…you realize everything is going to be okay…

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Michael Myers – Chicago White Sox (retired)

Theme from Halloween

First of, lets start with a round of applause for Michael’s parents and their choice in naming their son after one of the most iconic horror film characters of all time.

Bravo Michael’s parents, bravo.

Myers, now retired, may not have put up hall of fame numbers but lets face it, anyone who comes out to pitch, while playing the theme from Halloween, is alright in our book.

The only thing better than watching Michael Myers warm up to the Halloween theme would be if the batter on deck was Jason Voorhees and if after the game the two players were flown to New York City (first class) and set loose in the Yankees club house, which would then become the setting for Friday the 13th Part VII: Jason Takes Manhattan Part II: Jason & Michael Slaughter the Yankees. Rated: “A” for Awesome

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Honorable Mention

Honorable mention recipients are those players for whom I was too lazy to write up anything clever. The honorable mention awards go to:

1. Eric Byrnes - Arizona Diamondbacks – Disco Inferno – The Tramps (retired)

Most normal people would never admit to actually liking disco, but deep down, we all know these people secretly picture themselves as John Travolta, walking down the street in the opening credits of Saturday Night Fever. The following video is an exact representation of what Eric Byrnes thinks he looks like while coming up to bat. (Disco Inferno doesn’t kick in until about 2:30, but you get the point.)

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2. Ramon Castro – Chicago White Sox – Imperial March – Star Wars (John Williams)

I know that Roman Castro played this song while playing with that Yankees, and as much as we all despise that team, it’s still a pretty clever choice of music. If you’re coming out to close a game and you want to be as intimidating as possible, playing the Imperial March, (the theme song of the baddest Sith Lord in the galaxy) is a step in the right direction.

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3. Adam Laroche Washington Nationals - You’re the Best Around - John Esposito

Since being dealt to the Nationals this past offseason, Adam Laroche’s career has taken a turn for the worst. Hitting just .172 in 43 games this season, Laroche’s production is practically non-existent. Luckily for Adam, that kind batting average is common among the Nationals, so he probably feels right at home. Further, for every Nationals fan at Nationals Park, there are about 10 Phillies fans, so no one in the stands really cares anyway.

With that being said, we do have to give Laroche credit for choosing the theme song for Karate Kid as his walk up music. Perhaps the Nationals would be wise to start Mr. Miyagi at every position simultaneously? At the very least he should be the team’s batting coach…wax on mother fuckers.

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Hall of Shame

The Hall of shame is reserved for players who have decided to show uncommonly poor judgment in their choice of walk up music.

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1. Lance Berkman - St. Louis Cardinals - Nickelback

Baseball is America’s pastime, and as such, Lance Berkman should have shown more respect to the Red White and Blue by choosing not to come to bat, while simultaneously playing the shittiest Canadian band of all time.

There is no room for Nickelback in baseball, there is no room for Nickelback in America.

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2. Josh Beckett - Boston Red Sox – Nickelback

Luckily for Red Sox fans and more importantly, music fans, Beckett is a pitcher in the AL, so fans watching a game at Fenway Park should only be slitting the wrists on an occasional basis.

Josh Beckett’s ERA last year was 5.78, which just so happens to be the average number of fans in 2010 who thew up, per plate appearance, upon hearing the pitcher’s walk up music.

^ This kid is PISSED. Why you ask? Because Josh Beckett’s Ipod is an asshole.

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3. Brad Hawpe - San Diego Padres - Nickelback

God damnit…

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© The 13ths 2011